1. Well all that I can say is that I was amazed by the distrust in-world. As a total newbie, I set myself up with some skins and animations, met some people, and was given the third degree when I wouldn't 'confess' that I was an Alt. I couldn't possibly be a newbie because I had a nice skin and knew what a 'prim' was...

Wow.

Posted at 12:53AM on Sep 21st 2006 by Saint Paul

2. A few weeks ago we received a complaint at SLProfiles.com that somebody was using their copyrighted pictures. Since this person showed me her site and the pictures on this site all had copyright information on the bottom of each picture (which were nicely cropped on our site), it was clear that this profile on our site was fake. What does this mean? Well --- I assume this means that the person who was playing this character was probably a guy playing a girl which seems to happen a lot in Second Life. Funny part of the story? A close friend of mine actually knew a the in world boyfriend of this character. After we showed him the proof that these pictures were indeed all fake, they suddenly stopped being close friends. I wonder why? I've never actually played a girl myself in the game BUT I do know 3 guys that have a girl alt. According to them to meet other girls. Just keep that in mind the next time you're hitting on somebody!

Posted at 1:19AM on Sep 21st 2006 by Yo Brewster

3. St. Paul, yes, I've seen a lot of that, especially lately. Sorry for the harrassment! Stick it out; all things fade in time. You can always drop by the Shelter, where such things are unknown, or at least unexpressed.

Yo, that doesn't surprise me in the least. It probably happens all the time! I navigate through SL pretty much giving no thought to who's driving the avatar. My RL photo is in my profile, and sometimes folks give me photos of themselves -- you can usually tell when it's the genuine person. I've stopped asking already. I'm not in SL to look for love!

Posted at 1:52AM on Sep 21st 2006 by Akela Talamasca

4. I wonder about the people who say "my avatar is exactly like me in real life", or who say "my real life picture is in my profile", as if that is some sort of badge of honour.

I don't understand why having your avatar be exactly like you are in real life is put forth as being "proper" or "honest". Isn't one of SLs primary strengths its offer of being able to live as something different than you are every work day?

I don't need to or want to know someone's real life details. I don't consider revealing those details to be an act of honesty, nor do I think people who keep such things private to be dishonest. If someone outright lied to me about their personal life, that would not be fair or honest. But if they choose not to reveal their real life to me, I respect that.

I want to be treated fairly and with empathy. I don't appreciate being lied to. Thus far, for the most part, my interactions with most folks in SL have been very positive. But then, I don't go off the deep end over things that happen "in the grid": I'm not starting a real world relationship based on my interactions in world. I try not to set myself up to be disappointed.

Posted at 3:17AM on Sep 21st 2006 by Tomas Hausdorff

5. Agreed, Tomas, and well said. I realized when I first got into SL that I wanted to be a werewolf, and it took me a while to finally get what I wanted. That's my SL identity, and that will never change, even if I play around with other avs. I have no problem revealing my RL self to people if they're nice about asking, though that will only go so far. I feel that SL really is a second life; another actual life, with its own laws and physics and second chances for us to become what we wished we could be.

Posted at 11:15AM on Sep 21st 2006 by Akela Talamasca

6. One quick way I've learned to determine whether or not a SL female is really a RL male is to look at their clothes. Most RL males will forget to change their female av's clothing. A RL female will almost always change their av's clothing for each log-in or, at a minimum, make SOME change so as to not have it be the same outfit.

While this may not work 100% of the time (and, of course, by "giving it away" here on the ever-so-popular secondlifeinsider I've likely decreased that % even further), I have noticed it to be true more often than not.

I stumbled upon this one evening when my RL wife was watching what I was doing in SL. She asked me why I was wearing the same clothes I had on the prior time she saw my av. Truth be told, I hadn't even noticed that I was wearing the same thing!

Niko

Posted at 3:39PM on Sep 21st 2006 by niko donburi

7. Yeah, see, I get around that by not wearing clothes.

Posted at 4:05PM on Sep 21st 2006 by Akela Talamasca

8. On the subject of figuring out a resident's RL gender, you may like an article I wrote for the SL Herald a little while back:

http://www.dragonscoveherald.com/blog/index.php?p=746

Posted at 4:09PM on Sep 21st 2006 by Aimee Weber

9. On the topic of misplaced trust, I think the reason it's ridiculously easy to feel that you have trustworthy friends and loved ones in SL is because of what Akela said: the lack of subliminals such as tone of voice, body language, and word choice. Perhaps an avatar's detailed appearance, somatic tics, and preset idle animations help convey a positive non-verbal impression which leads to a false sense of security where one would normally be cautious. It's much harder to mask or have deceitful body language than it is to lie in a conversation.

Personally, sometimes I feel uncomfortable having conversations in SL with people of any shape, form, or gender because of the lack of non-verbal feedback. In those cases, it feels like I'm talking with ear plugs on (hope that analogy makes sense).

Posted at 7:24PM on Sep 21st 2006 by Alan Hearn

10. Akela, you took the words right out of my mouth ;) One advantage of having an avatar blessed with fur (or in my case fur and scales): no tough wardrobe decisions...

I have noticed that the people who I *know* are women in real life do change their avatar's clothing daily or nearly daily. But I wouldn't say that is a strictly accurate gender detection method- my guess is that, because homosexual people are biologically / mentally different, they likely break the behavior molds.

Detecting gender is probably most relevant to people who are interacting on a sexual level. And no, I don't mean "cybering": flirting, which is far more subtle, is as sexual as you need to get for gender to have bearing.

For normal day to day interactions, chatting, building, buying, selling...I sincerely hope I *don't* care whether the person I'm interacting with is really male or female in real life. Why should I? If they are nice/smart/creative/what have you as one gender, they are still that person as another gender.

Setting aside the gender/sexual topic for a moment...the type of dishonesty that could upset me would likely revolve around topics that are nearly as emotionally freighted. For example, let's say I spent time getting to know someone in SL, and they told me they were suffering from some real world ailment (cancer, for example). If I later found out that they were perfectly healthy, and wer e using their supposed illness as an attention getter- that would likely end my friendship with them. Other types of dishonesty intended to gain my sympathy to cheat me out of time, money or other possessions...that would likewise end a friendship.

However, I've not suffered such a disappointment. I think in part that's because, although I'm fairly open and willing to chat with folks in SL, I'm fairly guarded about access to my deeper emotions. I don't immediately react with offers of help to someone who says they just had their account hacked, or who claims someone stole their land. I'll be supportive, but not "friendly" to the point of handing someone money or valuable items just because of their hard luck story. I maintain a fairly high degree of optimistic skepticism, if that makes sense.

Posted at 11:17PM on Sep 21st 2006 by Tomas Hausdorff