1. The explanation for Danielle's new appearance is somewhat more prosaic, Akela. She's been altering her appearance to bring it closer to that of her RL self--a goal with which I empathize, since my own appearance is so closely modeled on my own RL self.

Her new skin tone is very attractive...the color of a cup of hot cocoa on a cold, snowy day in Colorado. She's still as beautiful as she ever was, just in a different hue.

Posted at 6:48PM on Sep 22nd 2006 by Erbo Evans

2. Dani makes some excellent points in her post. What makes a relationship work, whether it is real or virtual, varies as much as people involved themselves do.

I'm happily married in real life. My partner to whom I am handfasted in Second Life is someone else entirely. I had several long talks with my real life spouse before I started a second life relationship. My Second Love also knows I'm married in real life: Sydona, my SL spouse, reminds me when its time for me to go spend some hours with Irene, my real life wife. It works because there are definite lines between what is real and what is virtual. Real Life always takes a priority. Friendship crosses those boundaries, but nothing more.

That works for me, but for other people there are no boundaries between real life and second life. If they get turned on in Second Life, they feel this must map into something to be done in meatspace. If they call someone their "love" in virtuality, this must diminish their love in real life. As if they are the same kind of love, and as if love is a limited quantity, something each of us only have a fixed amount of. For such a person, having a relationship in Second Life is cheating on their real life partners, no matter how they think of it. And perception, in this case, is reality- if it feels like cheating, it probably is. But how they perceive things isn't how everyone else does- some folks are capable of drawing a line between role play and reality, others aren't.

So what about monogamy within a virtual relationship? It's probably wise to start the relationship out asking that question. Is this an open relationship? Or do we consider ourselves "exclusive"? Generally, I'd say if you are partnered, it's exclusive, but that's between you and your partner. I wouldn't hate my partner if she found someone else, so long as she was honest. That said, it might very well spell the end of our partnership- but not our friendship, unless a history of lies were added to the picture.

Posted at 9:36PM on Sep 22nd 2006 by Tomas Hausdorff

3. Thank you for your kind words Akela, it has prompted me to add a new page to my blog called "Ask Dani". I hope your readers will check it out.

Posted at 10:31AM on Sep 23rd 2006 by Dani2.0